Homily for February 15, 2009
by Barbara Hayden

I agree with Phil’s homily premise last week that Yahweh has been engaged in human history and has given us a road map to do what we need to do, go where we need to go, to avert disaster. I also agree that Yahweh gives us absolute freedom to decide what we are going to do, both with our individual lives and with our group conduct which includes national and international affairs. Phil called us to get to work bringing about a new order of things — the non-violent co-existence with one another and with nature that Martin Luther King asked for 30 years ago. My homily will reassure you that our God is not finished giving guidance, however. I believe I can furnish proof that God is closer than ever, always willing to listen, always helping us see the loving way.

First, let me reflect on the Old Testament reading, tell an illustrative anecdote and then share 2 experiences that prove God is close by, poised to help us. When I’m finished, I will build a bridge back to Phil’s homily. Wish me luck in doing all of this in a John Schramm 9 minutes!

Naman is a man accustomed to doing difficult things. And no doubt proud of his ability to do difficult things. He just could not “capisce” that all he had to do was dunk himself in the Jordan, this dinky little river that ran through lowly Israel. But, prevailed upon by the people who cared about him, he swallowed his ego and went in, and thanks be to God, he was cured. A General with baby skin emerged, a man who had learned a lesson about his pride and the power of simple cures.

We are just like Naman. In my experience, God is simple and we, his children, are the complicators. We resist the simple and are proud of our ability to handle complicated things. We believe complicated methods work better than simple ones, just like Naman.

A good example of this is the weight loss support group I recently started at the Department of the Interior, where I am the occupational health nurse. I convened this group in January around the basic rule “Eat right and move more.” I chose not to recommend dieting – or any particular diet - because of the current scientific evidence that all the emphasis on dieting in America over the last 30 years is making us fatter. My group just can’t accept that the biology of weight loss is simple. Every week they beg me to give them a food plan, to endorse a diet, but I am firm in my position that over the long haul nothing will work except habitually and forever eating the right food in the right amounts and moving the body. I shake my head in wonderment at how we, like Naman, cannot embrace and carry out this simple solution. I say we because although I myself do believe this simple reality, I have trouble eating the right amounts, so I am just a humble member of the group, struggling with all the other members to do the simple things.

Again I assert that God is simple and can help us simplify our personal conundrums. I have experienced God as the great untangler of conundrums and I want to share how I know this.

In 2000, my mom and sister proposed I invest in real estate with them. Specifically, they wanted Delia and me to buy a house in Rehoboth which mom would then live in. Mom would pay us a rent that she could afford, since all the rents in Rehoboth had gone beyond her reach. Her rent would offset the mortgage and expenses, giving Delia and me a nice long term investment and putting a roof over mom’s head in the bargain. So I had to decide if I wanted to go into business with my mom and my sister. All my instincts were against this idea. I could think of many reasons not to do it. I felt very guilty, like a bad daughter, and I began to pray about it, asking God what I should do. I told God my heart was hardened against my mom, who will go through anyone’s resources pretty quick, and I was afraid this arrangement would bring fights and bitterness, and more hardening of my heart. I prayed quite a lot and then one morning, which is when God’s voice is usually audible in my head, I heard this thought “I’ll take care of your heart. But if you’re stupid, you are on your own!” I am not telling a lie — this is what God said. Two sentences and the second one was a surprise! So I went to Amy for lawyerly advice and to Rob Low for real estate advice and I did go in with Delia on the purchase of the house. All has been well and in particular my heart has only gotten softer about my mom over time, softer and softer. I think she’s remarkable, talented, energetic, and funny. I enjoy her. If I could express how I feel about the house and all the subsequent demands she has made on my time and resources, I can be God-simple and say “I love her, I can afford it, so why not?”

God had to detangle me from another conundrum in which I did not know how to feel, what to think, or how to act. Four years ago, my sister Delia started exploring ways in which she could adopt a child. My sister, 12 years younger than I, is single and was in the height of her career as a lawyer in Philadelphia. Never blessed with a romantic experience, she was going to take matters into her own hands and become a mother. Brilliant, she had sat for four bar exams and passed all of them at the first seating, so she practices in Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and the District of Columbia. Now Delia is like many brilliant people, she is absent minded about personal stuff — she pays monthly bills quarterly, seldom puts her clothes away, lets food rot in the refrigerator, always files her income taxes late, etc. I could not imagine how a child would be accommodated into this maelstrom of disorder. But Delia was determined and things were lining up for Delia to adopt a toddler, a special needs boy with a diagnosis called “Sensory Processing Disorder.” My mom was enthusing about the upcoming adoption one Friday night when I arrived for a weekend visit. I had to pour myself a wee dram of Irish whiskey to calm my nerves as I listened, ticking off silently to myself the impractical aspects of this venture:

“Let’s see here. We have a 42 year old single professional woman at the prime of a very demanding career with no time even to tidy her house, with no experience of men, bringing into her home a toddler boy who will require even more attention than the average child.”

Because we were alone, my mom could speak frankly and seeing my brain working along a negative pathway, she said “Dear, aren’t you excited about this?” I replied “No, Mom, because I can’t stop thinking about all the reasons that this won’t work.” I went grumpily to bed, giving mom a desultory hug. Tossing and turning in bed, I prayed “God, tell me how to feel about this adoption. You gotta admit it’s a really bad idea.” And I kept praying until I fell asleep. The next morning a strong voice in my head said “Be EXCITED! It’s a BABY!” From that moment on, I was cured of my complicated dossier of skepticisms. I welcomed Patrick to our family and had the experience of falling in love with a child, a life changing experience as many of you can attest. God helped me see the simple truth of the situation: this was an opportunity to love.

I share these two personal experiences to reassure you that God is A PRAYER AWAY. The common denominator of these two experiences is: I prayed hard first, then I got an answer.

Soon, we will start the contemplation groups we planned during the January retreat. I’m hopeful about the groups because if we are to do the hard work Phil prescribed for us, if we are to be the Christians who bring about the new order of things, we need the strength, the peace, the clarity of God. Contemplative prayer gives God a chance to be with us, to change us so we can change the trajectory of history.

I think “meditation” has become an overworked word. I suggest we call them “Here I am Lord” exercises. We make the seat next to us available to God. Or, we invite God to be in our hearts for a few minutes. For those of you who did not join a group, that’s OK, just keep praying every day and spend some time in a receptive quiet.